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Plan 9 From Outer Space

Review Written by: Chris Burns
Film: F
What the MPAA Rating should be: PG (for mild scary moments)

Directed by: Edward D. Wood Jr.
Written by: Edward D. Wood Jr.
Produced by: Edward D. Wood Jr.
Starring: Dudley Manlove, John Breckinridge, Tor Johnson, Vampira, Gregory Walcott, Tom Keene, Bela Lugosi
Studio: Reynolds Pictures Inc.

Plan 9 From Outer Space is a movie every movie lover should see just because it is known as "the worst movie ever made." It is the kind of film that you know is going to be bad just from the corny narration at the start. I think that may have been what bugged me most, the fact that the narration was done by some guy with an irritating put-on voice. The acting when the narration is going on is all wooden and looks as though a random woman on the street using the phone was just secretly filmed because no actor was prepared to do it. Talking of that a lot of footage looks as though it has been stolen from a government film archive. Still Plan 9 is a cult movie just like Ed Wood himself is a cult director. It is the kind of movie that I would like to have a vintage poster of, but I'm just too embarrassed to do so. Believe it or not there are people who like this movie, but that is not because they think it is good, it is because they have a great time laughing "with it". I bet Ed Wood is the kind of guy who Uwe Boll is trying to be!

I guess you must be asking "What makes Plan 9 such a terrible piece of cinema?" Well, it's ultimately an example of very poor direction and casting choices. The actors whether they were told to or not look as though they have gone back to Kindergarden and are having a great time in some costumes. You feel as though you're watching Scooby Doo. For example, there is a scene where a terrible actor playing a detective is searching a graveyard and then he sees some monsters, instead of shooting his gun at the monsters, he shoots the floor. What were the actors thinking when they said lines such as "...A flying saucer? You mean the kind from up there?". I mean come on when they said those lines they must have thought "Was Ed Wood on drugs when he wrote this?" and in fact he was! The script is worse and it might even give you some hearing problems for all I know?!? Every scene is set up with the viewer knowing everything that is going to happen next.

Oh and the camera work may cause you to have a seizure because it is so atrocious. The special effects are also terrible even for an old movie, the flying saucers look as if they have plastered down and you can just imagine a man pulling a little string around. The make up and costume design looks like screwed up plastic surgery and why a vampire has giant breasts is beyond me! The story is also one that shows just how stupid Ed Wood must be, nothing actually fits together or runs smoothly. And then there is the sound effects, actually wait I will stop there because otherwise I will be here for hours!

I say watch Plan 9 because it is quite possibly the worst film ever made and a lot of terrible movies are boring and painful. At least this was entertaining because it was terrible. The film probably took a week to make (It looks like that), so sit down and be prepared for something for pretentious and stupid for just over an hour!

Bela Lugosi in his last ever performance.
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