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Superman Returns

Review Written by: Will Penley
Film: D-
What the MPAA Rating should be: PG (for violence)

Directed by: Bryan Singer
Written by: Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris
Based on the characters by: Jerry Siegel
Produced by: Bryan Singer, Gilbert Adler and Jon Peters
Starring: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, Parker Posey, Sam Huntington, Tristan Leabu, James Marsdon, Frank Langella
Studio: Warner Brothers Pictures

In one of the early action scenes involving an airplane in Superman Returns, the Man of Steel proclaims, "Statistically speaking, it's still the safest way to travel." Well, statistically speaking, Superman Returns is the best way to induce headaches. What a disappointment this is! Bryan Singer had never made a bad movie up until now, and I know he's going to regret directing this for the rest of his life. Something inside tells me that the sheer terribleness of this film is the fault of producer Jon Peters because when it was first going into production, he demanded that Superman not wear a cape, not fly and had to fight a giant spider. Luckily, none of those ideas made their way into the final product, but it's still horrendous.

Superman Returns picks up five years after the events of Superman II. At the start of the film, we find Clark Kent (Brandon Routh) returning to Earth after disappearing to search for possible survivors from the destruction of Krypton. Upon his return, he finds that former flame Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) has moved on with her life and is engaged to the successful Richard White (James Marsden). But that's the least of his worries, as villainous madman Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) has a brand-new scheme up his sleeve that could endanger the entire world.

My God, why was this even made?! They must be joking, right? This is one of the absolute worst films I've ever seen. All of the performances are awful. Brandon Routh was completely miscast, as was Kate Bosworth. The immensely talented Kevin Spacey isn't even that great! What has happened here? The film is completely uninteresting and not entertaining at all. Even though it's just a follow-up to Superman II, they really should have re-introduced audiences to the Man of Steel. There is zero character development whatsoever. People who haven't seen the original masterpieces will probably be totally lost. I really would have liked it if they just re-started the Superman franchise as they did with last year's great Batman Begins.

Superman Returns is dull, lifeless, boring, overlong and it has an awful, awful ending. This piece of garbage has Razzie written all over it. One of the year's worst, though that isn't saying much. Christopher Reeve is rolling in his grave (God rest his soul).

Superman showing off his great powers.
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